The Laws of Attraction

There is something about the laws of attraction that puzzle me. You’re either attracted to the wrong person, or the person you are attracted to isn’t attracted to you. I was observing on my night out last night the comedy of attracting the other sex and it started me thinking what is the big fuss?

Having been single for 6 months, I now feel ready to start looking for a nice new man to entertain myself with, but in all honesty I don’t fancy all the dating games that occur, the chase and the playing hard to get...all takes time and effort that I don’t have.

So standing in a crowded club last night I observed a lot of different techniques that seemed to be going on. There were the guys stood by the bar just offering to buy girls a drink... now for me I’d be like I can buy my own thanks (unless  of course one of them was drop dead gorgeous in which case my rules would be out the window). They seemed to have limited success and I can’t say I was surprised.

Then there were what I call the predators, the guys that stand around the edge of the dance floor eyeing up girls and whispering comments to their mates. It kind of makes me feel like you’re in a cattle market and the men are deciding which is the best cut of beef or something like that. It always makes me feel uneasy having these men watch me... one for the fact its normally when I’m completely drunk making a tit of myself on the dance floor but also because who likes to have their every move watched by people they barely know.

Another personal peeve of mine when out are the men who try to catch your attention by grabbing. I always get really annoyed by the men who think just because you haven’t answered them they are able to grab your wrist or arm or hand to catch your attention and won’t let go until you agree to dance/have a drink/give them your number. I must admit I’m quite confident in myself and am able to turn round and stand firm until they let go of my arm but it does make you wonder what goes through their mind to make them think it’s acceptable to grab women.

Talking of grabbing, did anybody watch My Big Fat Gypsy wedding this week when they were talking about their “grabbing”. Now is it just me that thinks the fact that a guy will physically hurt a girl to get a kiss sound a bit like assault of some kind, and the fact that the girls were just like “well it happens.” I know if a guy ever did that to me I’d probably end up going “Essex” on his ass and hurting him in some very convenient areas.

The other kind of man I experienced last night was the creep. I can’t think of a better way to describe this guy than creep, he approached me and my friend whilst we were sat down and instead of saying anything just stared at us, no words just uncomfortable staring. When we asked if he wanted anything he shook his head and continued to stare. I must admit I’ll give him points for his persistence. He did end up coming over and staring a lot whilst we danced, went to the bar, and sat and chatted, however I did get to the point where I told him to go away, in not so polite terms and I questioned whether this guy honestly felt that this was an effective method of getting girls to talk to him, by staring to the point where people feel uncomfortable.

Saying that although there are all these types of men out there, there are the nice ones and I met a few last night. There were the professional basketball players who know my housemate (although ridiculously tall, it made me think maybe I need to find a basketball player or something to satisfy my criteria of only dating tall men...although 6’10 is a little bit excessive). There were also the nice ice hockey players and marines, who at worst were a nice bit of eye candy, and at best could be a good dance/kiss/date (as I’m sure my housemate will find out tonight). And then there are the nice guys you can just have a chat to at the bar, like Middlesbrough guy who was a little on the strange side.

So it appears that being back in the dating game means that I will have to put up with some of the techniques I’m not too keen on, and some of the awful chat up lines again, and I guess it’s true you have to kiss a few frogs to start with...I just hope nobody resorts to the “grabbing”