Sunday, 30 January 2011

Is age just a number?

This week I’ve had some interesting conversations with some of my girls. One conversation I keep having with people is about age gaps and how old is too old. It appears that at the moment it’s all about dating the older man, everyone I know of my age (20-21) is looking for men at least 3 or 4 years older and it made me wonder, what is it with age gaps? The small (about a year -5 years) and the significant (20 odd years in some cases).
I guess this is all down to personal preference and I in no way mean to upset anyone when writing my views, and I would love to hear yours.
After the conversation with the girls I decided to ask about ages gaps to the girls on the More! Facebook page their thoughts on dating older men.
 Emma Louise- I was in a relationship last summer with a guy 9 years older than me and was much better than anyone my own age cos women mature faster than men.
Louise McKeen- . At the end of the day we love each other so what should age matter
Emma Louise- I could meet someone older and fall for them, everyone’s different. It’s about the person more than the age
Becks Dawe: Long as you’re happy that’s all that matters
Rachel Ryan: I wouldn't go out with a guy who was loads older than me, 30's probably the oldest I'd go and even then that sounds old to me... I guess I just prefer guys roughly my own age.
Emma Jacques: personally I don't think age is that important unless it's too old like Hugh Hefner and the girls 22
It appears that everyone I got replies from had similar views. Some thought that although older was better there was a difference between an older man and a man being too old with ages of around 30-35 being where people drew the line.
The question of how old is too old is always going to be a hard one. Should it stop at 5 years older, 10 years, 20,30,40? Whose to say that you should stop at a certain number but then I guess there’s certain things society finds hard to accept.
I think for me I don’t really see an age gap as a problem although only in the terms of small age gaps. I would feel quite uncomfortable being with a guy that was a lot older than me, especially in terms of ages where it could be possible for him to be old enough to be my dad, I just personally don’t feel comfortable with it. Imagine going out and being asked whether that is your parent and then having to explain to the person that they are in fact your boyfriend. Plus to me it seems that there wouldn’t be all that much in common with someone from a different generation (I may be wrong but this is just my personal view)
I guess the point of everyone being different and age just being a number is a valid one but there are going to be instances when it becomes more difficult with much older men than there is with someone of a similar age and I guess this is maybe what puts me off. Who knows maybe I’ll meet a much older man who will change my views on this...we never know what the future holds.
Hugh Hefner (84) recently announced his engagement to Crystal Harris (24). To me this age gap is really extreme and I think the fact that he is 60 years her senior would make me uncomfortable. Not only is he old enough to be her father but he is also old enough to be her grandfather.

This got me thinking about other couples with age gaps in the celebrity world.
Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas,  25 years her senior

Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart have an age gap of 22 years

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie who have 11 years between them

Ronnie Wood (ex rolling stone) and Ekatarina Ivanova who have a massive gap of 41 years. (although not together anymore)

However it’s not only the celebrity men who are finding younger partners, the women are doing it too.
Mariah Carey is 12 years Nick Cannon’s senior.

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have 15 years between them.

Sam Taylor Wood and Aaron Johnson have an age gap of 24 years.

This brings me onto the next part of age gaps, what about the older woman with a younger man?
It seems that dating younger men and being a “cougar” is becoming more popular. The toyboy is apparently back, with shows like Cougar Town showing that woman are also able to go out and grab younger men. I personally think to these women good on you, why if the men are doing it can’t the woman, what is so weird about women dating a younger man. I do however think that, although I applaud these women, I personally at currently couldn’t date a younger man. At the age of 20 any guy younger than me appears to lack maturity and it’s always in the back of my mind that these guys are the same age as my little brother.
Who knows however when I’m 30 maybe I will relish in the fact I could date a 20-something- I mean my stepdad is 11 years younger than my mum (although he doesn’t act it). I guess it’s always a confidence boost to know that even as an older woman you could have any guy you wanted. I asked some of the girls what they thought of dating younger men:
Sarah Mater- I don't go out with guys younger than me
Kira Cookson- I doubt I'd be with someone younger than me but I don't think age is big deal
Rachel Ryan: My bf is younger than me, but only 15 months so it's not a massive gap. Obviously then I have no problem with younger guys, but I probably wouldn't go any younger than 20 (I'm 23, bg is alomst 22)
Tanya Howard: I've been with younger guys before and I don't plan on going there again, they would ahve to be pretty fucking special to make that happen!
It seems the general consensus of people a certain age (normally early 20s) is that younger men aren’t an option. 18-22 year old men can be seen as not being mature enough for many women and it appears the only way we can get a guy on the same level is to go older...let’s just hope that it’s not Hugh Hefner older.
So as I said I don’t mean to offend or upset anyone with my views and I’m hoping that you ladies will give me some of your views. I guess I’ll keep looking for my mature older (but not old) man... and hope for the times when age is just a number


  1. The recent More! article about age gaps annoyed me somewhat actually. The two women with older boyfriends had age gaps of 20+ years, but the women with younger boyfriends only had gaps of 8 years. Why is it that having a comparitively-not-that-much-younger boyfriend is as sensational as going out with a man old enough to be your father?

  2. love it hun, however you could call me a tiny cougar. James is only just turning 20 and i will be 22 this year. This isnt an issue however the age gap is coming into play when im thinking of marriage and babies in a few years and his still thinking clubbing and nights out and doesnt see babies for at least 10 years.

  3. Well im 20 and Pat is now 23. As you know we are getting married next year and i find that age wise our gap is perfect. We are both on the same level when it comes to marriage, morgages and babies. This may be because we are both fairly old in our ways (his dad says we are like an old married couple) so it really wouldnt bother me if the gap was bigger.
    To twentysomething girl, when i first met Pat he said he couldnt ever see himself getting married or a mortgage and he didnt want children for at least 10 years...we are getting married next year, hopefully getting a mortgage soon after and kids...lets just say they are on the agenda for the next couple of years;)All of this is what HE wants!
    They mature later but boy do they catch up quickly!!!